RSS55 Hours a Week
July 13th, 2007 | View Comments
I took a reading day at home today, a day to read and absorb and think big-picture thoughts rather than a day spent staring at the minutiae of code and numbers and graphs and swearing at the lack of batch mode on the process I need to run. Taking a reading day helps me re-focus and re-motivate.
My reading for today is The Learning Gap, which compares and contrasts American and Chinese and Japanese schools. I was struck by this passage from the chapter on socialization and achievement:
When teachers are asked what behavior exhibited by a preschool child would worry them most, American teachers cite aggressive behavior. In Japan, the child who plays alone arouses the most concern. Japanese teachers point out that the aggressive child is at least socially engaged, and with proper guidance can learn more acceptable ways of social interaction. The isolated child is more difficult to socialize, for by being alone he has little opportunity to practice social skills. American teachers, in contrast, consider playing alone to be a positive sign, an indication of independence.
This passage struck me because I had earlier read a post on Andrew Sullivan in response to the idea of gaming 55 hours a week. The commenter says:
It’s easy at first glance to take these numbers and think that there is something serious wrong, which is why so many people start calling it an addiction or a disease, but it is important to understand the full picture. Most people who play excessively do so, because the social life in these games is more valuable than the one they have in their “real life”…. With MMO’s, they have the opportunity to build relationships, be challenged, and have a great time when they aren’t at their 9-5 and at a very low cost.
Now, I firmly believe that the Internet is a great resource for facilitating and building relationships. I have friends who I first met online and I know of several couples who met through the internet, some of whom are married or will be married soon.
That said, I do not agree with the commenter’s final conclusion that gaming 55 hours a week for social fulfillment isn’t bad. It’s bad. It suggests excessive gamers are choosing to form online relationships because social anxiety or some other impairment is preventing these people from going out and forming relationships with people in their own communities. Relationships with people who could:
- Stop by with a delivery of soup and Kleenex when you’re sick.
- Take care of your pets and plants if you’re away.
- Call 911 for you in case of emergency.
- Give you a hug because they’re excited to see you or when you’re sad.
Despite the individualistic nature of American culture and the modern conveniences and wealth that enable many of us to live alone, it’s still true that health and survival are largely group efforts. All sorts of psychological research has shown that having social networks that can do the above things for you improves both psychological and physical health. Physical touch, like hugging or back-rubbing, can do wonders to relieve stress and bad mood. Even having pets promotes health and happiness.
Not only are real relationships good, but staying away from them is bad. The more you immerse yourself in a computer-generated world, the more you become incapable of interacting with actual, physical people. Some social psychologists have estimated that 70% of all communication is nonverbal—in gesture, facial expression, body language, and tone of voice. None of these nonverbal means of communication exist in any meaningful way in a virtual world. But it takes time and practice to learn how to interpret and respond to these nonverbal cues—a large part of what is meant by “having social skills.” Is she being serious or sarcastic? Was that squeeze on my shoulder supposed to be warning or reassuring? Is that laugh nervous, polite, or because I was really being funny?
The answers to these questions are not universal, but depend both on the individual and on broader culture. And, as the Japanese teachers seem to recognize, the only way to develop social skills is to go out and practice.
Yvonne posted this on July 13th, 2007 @ 6:47pm in Education, Life, Psychology/Neuroscience | Permalink to "55 Hours a Week"
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2. Yvonne » July 14th, 2007 at 11:35 am
The specific person mentioned by the commenter worked from home. If you go and read the linked post, you find a truly horrifying account of someone who appears to rarely leave the house, spending literally all their free time gaming and associating with people online.
I take your point about introversion and about workmates, but the key distinction from a psychological standpoint is: do you feel like you can call on these people in times of need? If so, you’re probably ok. Game away! If not, and everyone you know is at best a casual acquaintance who you would have a difficult time asking for something, then this is bad for your psychological and physical health.
The other thing is the commenter’s assertion that game lives are “more valuable” than their real lives. This suggests that the amount of human interaction from work, etc. isn’t actually sufficient, that they are supplementing with virtual interaction. Rather than simply being introverts who get enough face time elsewhere.
3. Jane » July 15th, 2007 at 5:00 pm
I’m self employed and work from home and agree with Yvonne’s argument that online relationships can sometimes be used to displace “real life” relationships. There are elements of communication that you just can’t duplicate online, especially body language and physical connection.
1. Styleygeek » July 14th, 2007 at 1:50 am
But the commenter was talking about people who do this on top of their usual workday, right? So presumably these people do interact with their workmates, at least. Not that I think it sounds like a great plan to spend 55 hours a week gaming, but I also don’t think it would necessarily cause them to lose all ability to make real friends. Or at least, it’s no worse for their social skills than someone who spends all of their time outside work reading, sleeping, eating, cooking, cleaning, going for walks on their own, and doing other non-social activities. Plenty of introverts do that (including me) because we have more than enough people interaction in the parts of life where you can’t avoid it (shopping, work, etc).